"I think of the trees and how simply they let go, let fall the riches of a season, how without grief (it seems) they can let go and go deep into their roots for renewal and sleep....Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain....Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go." --May Sarton
I found this quote in a magazine a few months before my husband died, and I cut it out and put it on my desk. It still sits there, and I've gone back to it many times. I really need it this weekend. Something has shifted this weekend, and I'm in the darkest space I've been in since he died. I can't find the tiniest spark of happiness or joy. I've tried to get out, be with a girlfriend, spend time on a farm, eat good food, etc. I've tried to be alone. I've tried to be productive with my work. I can't sleep; was up til 2am and up again at 5. I don't know what's wrong. I'm trying to remember that it's all about perceived realities...that my reality tomorrow, or next week, will be different than it is today.