Sorry for the profanity. It's not really my thing, either. Especially this word. But sometimes it feels warranted. It carries a strength that is warranted.
I read this article recently called "Fuck yes or no." (*See...the profanity isn't really even mine!) It kinda rocked my world. The author says that "The Law of 'Fuck Yes or No' states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say 'Fuck Yes' in order for you to proceed with them. The Law of 'Fuck Yes or No' also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a 'Fuck Yes' in order for you to proceed with them."
He continues, "Fuck Yes or No doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be falling in knee-wobbling love at first sight. It doesn’t even mean you have be completely convinced that someone is right for you. You can be 'Fuck Yes' about getting to know someone better. You can be 'Fuck Yes' about seeing someone again because you think there’s something there. You can be 'Fuck Yes' about giving things a few months to pan out....The point is: both you and [emphasis mine] the other person need to be fuck yes about something, otherwise you’re just wasting your time."
I'm going to play devil's advocate, and note that there are arguments to be made for not jumping the gun. There have been plenty of times that I've said the internal "fuck no" to things in my life--not simply relationships, but also business or life decisions. Yet I have gone ahead and followed through out of a sense of obligation or requirement, then have been surprised, learned a lot, expanded my horizons, found a new hobby or a new friend, etc. Sometimes "fuck no" comes from a place of discomfort, fear, anxiety, fatigue, or simply not knowing what we're missing!
Yet I've wasted a lot of time in that wishy-washy place over the past few years, neither an F-yes or an F-no, feeling insecure about something or someone, so simply sitting on the fence (which always ends up being painful). I've spent far too much time in this place over the past few weeks. I've felt the "I shoulds" rather than the "fuck yeses." I've considered what's "right" vs. what I want. I've allowed one-sided "fuck-yeses." No more. It felt GREAT to say "fuck no" to the man who pushed me for more than I wanted to give recently, rather than my usual "nice" response of trying to talk to someone or through something. What a waste of time THAT would have been--did I ultimately ever want to be with him? Or even be his friend? Nope. So why waste my energy?! I'm enjoying a few more internal "fuck nos" right now, as well, in a couple types of relationships. I've experienced some "fuck yeses" in a professional context. I'm going to spend the next couple of weeks applying this to everything in my life, and see if the words are as life-changing as they feel!
