“The objects of sense exist only when they are perceived” 

(George Berkely) 

 

If no-one has any idea what I do, think, or feel, do I exist?  Do I matter? Does what I do, think, or feel matter?  How do I transcend this need to share, this need to be seen or known, in order to feel that I exist? 

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I have experienced a lot of loss in the past five years...the death of my husband, the loss of my stepchildren with his death, the death of my best friend who I loved very much, the loss of my brother from my life when he didn't like the choices I made for my life,  the loss of my two pups in the past year, the loss of my faith that I will not spend my life alone.  I've learned that there are times that I LOVE to be alone (many of them!). But I've also learned that there is a great deal of loneliness, for me, in not being seen or heard.  It reminds me of my childhood, when I never really "fit" in my family.  I’ve felt alone for much of my life, and I realize that I feel like the tree falling in the forest. If it doesn’t make a sound, did it really happen?  If I don't make a sound...if I am not perceived...do I really exist?

 

So this site is for me...an anonymous place to make a sound, every day.  A place for me to look back and witness a life lived, a place for me to exist. --M.